I think grey

I have been trying to determine what color today is.
The die is cast, I think Grey .
 
I am a conglomerate of emotions.
Melancholy, irritable, blue.
Maybe, I am just unsettled today.
Perchance, just midlife.
 
I have summoned the voices that be…
Is this what I am suppose to be doing at this moment?
Okay, what next?
“Seriously,“ I retort?  “How about something FUN?”
 
       It slowly dawns on me…. I have flat-out left “fun city”.
Perhaps, a dereliction on my part.
 
     I am alone, as good as bordering on, my entire day..
I have spawned myself into this hermit, this nun…
married to my solitude, I have no friendships.
I do have people I hold dear.
However, I don’t do “stuff” with them.
It’s been my own undertaking.
 
I am espoused to my solitude,
My husband has said vows to his work.
Two ships that pass in the night….. 
 
   This is the life I have conscripted, or perhaps it has singled me out,.

I am wobbly on  the fallout.

It is a life I am infatuated with  routinely, just not today.

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