where is a shrink when I need one…

I realized this morning that I won’t start any change because I am afraid I will fail. What a mess. What happens if I fail? Do the mafia come and inflict pain on me?. Nothing happens if I fail other than perhaps I get discouraged. I realize I fail every day I don’t attempt to make positive changes. I don’t understand why it takes so much courage on my behalf to begin. Where is a shrink when I need one? 



God, Spirit, and the Universe.


Hubby is in the kitchen grinding something up for jerky. So, the house is noisy but inside of myself it is quiet. I am content. I am happy. The little rugrats are gone for the weekend and their mommy is upstairs. I am here. alone. with myself. just being. It really is a very spiritual state.

I know many are at church right now. I have done that most of my life.  I grew up Catholic. I spent a while being apostolic with the long hair and dresses listening to “women shut up and cook some beans” or regarding salvation, hearing preachers spit to the third pew “it is us and only some of us”. I have gotten stuck in some “cultish” religion. I have homechurched.  I have tried quite a few fire escapes to make it to heaven.

I am now in a state of bliss. I realize that right now, today, this moment, is holy. This is where I am suppose to be. I really don’t want to spell it out publicly because religion is such a touchy subject. Everyone is sure their way is the right way. Maybe for them it is.

I have searched for truth my whole life only to have found that it is right here with me all the time. I look out the window, at a loved one face, silence, that is truth, that is my religion. I look inside myself and know that I have found it.  God,Spirit, the Universe, it is all one, it is here and it is now and it is mine. I just have to stop long enough to find it. I love the journey I am on. I love that I have arrived even while I journey.

I have to agree with Albert Einstein on this…I am a deeply religious nonbeliever — this is a somewhat new kind of religion.

The Dalai Lama has it spot on. There is no need for temples, no need for complicated philosophies. My brain and my heart are my temples; my philosophy is kindness. I love this.

Have a lovely day of worship, in whatever form brings you joy and peace.